Budget Airlines Today :
Attendant : Welcome abroad ***** Airlines sir. May i see your ticket ?
Passenger : Sure.
Attendant : You are in seat 12B. That will be 5$. please!
Passenger : What for ?
Attendant : For telling you where to sit.
Passenger : But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant : Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It is the airline’s new policy.
Passenger : That’s the craziest thing I ever heard. I wont pay it.
Attendant : Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not ?
Passenger : Yes, yes. All right. I will pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant : Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you ?
Passenger : That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant : No problem. Up we go , and done !. That will be $10 , please.
Passenger : What ??
Attendant : The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger : This is extortion. I wont stand for it.
Attendant : Actually , you’re right, you cant stand. You need to sit, and faster your seat belt. We’re about to push back from the gate. But , first I need that $10.
Passenger : No way!
Attendant : Sir, if you don’t comply, i will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don’t want me to do that.
Passenger : Why not ? Is he going to shoot me ?
Attendant : No, but there’s a $50 air marshal hailing fee.
Passenger : Oh, all right , here take the $10. I can’t believe this.
Attendant : Thank you for your cooperation. sir. Is there anything else i can do for you ?
Passenger : Yes. It’s stuffy inhere , and my overhead fan doesn’t seem to work. Can you fix it ?
Attendant : Your overhead fan is not broken , sir. Just insert two 25 cents into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger : The airline is charging me for cabin air ?
Attendant : Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It’s the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger : I don’t have any 25 cents. Can you make change for a dollar ?
Attendant : Certainly Sir ! Here you go !
Passenger : But you’ve given me only 3×25 cents for my dollar.
Attendant : Yes , there’s a change making fee of 25 cents.
Passenger : Crying out loud….. All i have left is a lousy 25 cents ? What the heck can i do with this ?
Attendant : Hang onto it. You’ll need it later for the lavatory.